I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
