I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
