when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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