Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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