Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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