I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
