dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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