i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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