Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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