I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
