When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
40s are totally the cure
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have tasted many bathrooms
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
