bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
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As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
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After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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