Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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