Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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