I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I would ride that face into the sunset
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
