Michael Bay diarrhea
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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