I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
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