your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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