I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
