i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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