I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
is this the sara with the beer cane?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
