using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
