you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
