Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.