hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
