Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
