God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
