Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight

Fav 4 1166 938
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."

Fav 13 2925 965
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(858): View more from California

Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.

Fav 32 5286 898
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.

Fav 13 4256 1856
share tweet
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?

Fav 29 984 7839
share tweet
(706): View more from Georgia

I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.

Fav 83 18165 2385
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(870): View more from Arkansas

So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button

Fav 50 9932 3444
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(804): View more from Virginia

Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.

Fav 1 734 583
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(913): View more from Kansas

I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.

Fav 1 21 29
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT