You're completely useless in the revolution.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
reminds me of losing my job
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?