Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
