guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Can you bring me the toilet please
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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