Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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