Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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