At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
