dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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