My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
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I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
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Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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