If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
