Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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