think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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