The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
