i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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