Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
