New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
