Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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