I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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