mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
