forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
