is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
