does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I've blown a few things in my day
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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