A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
