Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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