I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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