Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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