dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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