Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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