i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
