he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
