great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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