Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
