you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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