wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
