Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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