Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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