Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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