addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
