Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
