i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't think brook has ever known best
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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