I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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