About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
