i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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