Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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