I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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