Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
