i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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